Should a Disruptive Girl Scout Be Asked to Leave the Troop?

Some Ideas To Try Before Asking A Girl To Leave The Troop

Here are some ideas for Girl Scout fundraising you can suggest to your troop. These ideas come from the facebook page Girl Scout Leader 411.

We’ve included some patch suggestions to help empower girls who may be struggling for attention.

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Cindy suggests acting differently than everyone else:
It’s tempting to wonder why her parents didn’t teach their child better, Many parents sign their daughters up for Girl Scouts hoping leaders will be the ones to teach them to behave correctly. Girls that act out are often just hungry for attention, good or bad. Pushing the problem back on the parents, or demanding they sit in every meeting to enforce the rules rarely works and often just adds tension to the room. If you want to see a change during meetings, you have to be the one to lead it. Try pulling her aside before a meeting to ask her for help. This may help her stay focused and involved. Ask her to lead the promise, to be in charge of teaching something to the troop or reading a story you planned. You can try asking her be a behavior monitor such as starting the quiet sign when you need the groups attention or helping to get all of the girls to sit in a circle for an activity. I wouldn’t be so quick to give up on this little one. She is used to being scolded and people being frustrated with her. If you react with patience and a special job instead of a timeout, she may gravitate toward you seeking positive attention. Think about the message it sends to a 5 or 6 year old if even the Girl Scouts, a place built on sisterhood and courage, gives up on her and turns her away. Try everything under the sun first. Be the one person who reacts differently to her, and you might just be the mentor she remembers for the rest of her life. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Christina Suggests a Behavior Contract:
Christina’s idea is a great follow-up to Cindy’s suggestion. It moves from the heart of the issue to the logistics of keeping meetings calmer. Having every girl and parents sign a behavior contract sets clear expectations. Tie the rules to the Girl Scout Law such as Repect Authority and Be a Sister to Every Girl Scout. Specific rule stating that disruptive behavior like hitting, constant interrupting or refusing to participate will not be tolerated. By having everyone sign it, you are not singling out any one child but setting the standard for the entire sisterhood. Having all of the girls participate in creating the rules can be very helpful. You can find a generic one online and have the girls customize it for their troop. When a girl’s behavior is disrupting the meeting for everyone, it’s time to move from gentle redirection to clear documentation. Keep a log of what happened and when. Report ongoing issues with the child and challenges with the parent to your service unit co-ordinator and/ or council membership specialist. They are there to support you so keeping your co-ordinator and council updated is going to make it easier if things continue to escalate. Your job is to lead a troop of girls, not provide 1 on 1 behavior management. If the child needs a dedicated shadow to help her stay on task, that responsibility falls on the parent, not the volunteer. If mom is unable to help her child stay focused and participate, perhaps dad or another adult in her life can attend meetings with her.

Bridget Wonders If There Is An Undiagnosed Health Issue Or Lack Of Gudiance and Structure:
Mom may be overwhelmed, embarassed or in denial about the possibility of undiagnosed mental, emotional or behavioral health issue. Or there may be a lack of guidance and structure for the girl. The conversation should be private and in person. Let mom know that you want to help. Share your concerns about what you have observed saying ‘I noticed…’ or I am concerned about…’ instead of ‘Your daughter is…’. Opening with positives can be helpful. Perhaps your love her creative energy or there is some other specific positive contribution to the meeting atmosphere that you can speak about. Let mom know you care about her daughter and her experience in Girl Scouts and want to make sure she is getting the support she needs to thrive. Bring up potential causes that can result in a girl acting out. Let mom know you are more concerned with her over all well b eing. Ask if there are any signs of emotional stress, frustration or a need for more structure. Offer to partner up to help her daughter. Tell mom that a concrete plan is needed. Offer to help find local counseling, school resources or other services that may be helpful. Be clear that while Girl Scouts is designed to help girls discover their inner greatness, it is also your responsibility to ensure the well-being of everyone else in the troop. For her to continue in the troop, we need to see consistent improvement in her behavior during meetings. Be sure to follow up with an e-mail to summarize all in person meetings with the parent so there is a paper trail.

Emily Recommends Firm and Consistent Troop Rules:
Having clear and consistent rules and consequences that are enforced makes everyone, including the disruptors, feel safe and know where they stand. When a girl is not following the rules try focusing on the behavior, not the girl. Give a warning such as ‘(that the behavior) is distracting, let’s focus on (the activity)’. If she continues the behavior, have her step away from the activity area (like a time out) and ask her to think about how the Girl Scout Law can help her make a better choice. If this does not work, then being removed from the meeting is the natural progression of cosequences. Learning that appropriate behavior reaps rewards while inappropriate behavior leads to lost opportunities is an important life lesson. The important thing is to stay consistent in enforcing the troop rules. If consistent enforcement of the rules makes a parent upset and they pull their child out of the troop, that is okay.

Betsy Believes An Old School Approach To Behavior Problems
As a troop leader with a special needs girl in her troop and a mother of a special needs child, Betsy has experience with behavior issues and suggests using ‘old school’ techniques when the behavior pops up. First offense, a verbal warning and re-direction. Second offense is a time-out or side-sit with an adult. Third offense is the parent is notified that the girl must leave the meeting immediately. Remember that you are not a babysitter or therapist. If the girl can not follow these rules, a parent or guardian must attend all meetings and activities to provide one on one supervision that the girl needs. Behavior that is consistently disruptive or creating an usafe environment needs to be tackled head on. Council will most often try to move the child into a nother troop which does not solve the problem, it just moves it somewhere else.

Deanna Reminds Us to Document Everything
Handling a disruptive girl in the troop is undeniably one of the hardest parts of being a troop leader. There have been some great suggestions here. Whatever advice you choose, it is so important to document everything and have a witness to discussions. Keep a written log with the date, specific disruptive behavior, how you handled it and the girl’s reaction. Always have another leader or registered adult present when having a conversation with a girl about their behavior. Avoid phone conversations with the parent, private in person meetings with the parent and both troop leaders are best. Focus on the behavior, not the child. All conversations with the parent about behavior need to be followed up with an e-mail summarizing the discussion so you have a paper trail. Documenting is so important if you have to escalate to your service unit or council. Good luck and I hope it works out.