Navigating Scouting with Your Daughter

As a mother who has guided her son through various experiences like Cub Scouts, Sunday school, Bring Your Child to Work Day, and even spearheaded Vacation Bible School programs, I have cherished every moment of learning together. When my son transitioned to Boy Scouts, I felt it was time to give him space to experience scouting with other leaders. Just as this transition was unfolding, my daughter was gearing up to join Girl Scouts. I was excited to introduce my spirited little girl to scouting, blissfully unaware of the tumultuous road ahead during that first year.

Many might assume that being a parent in a leadership role—whether as a coach or a scout leader—automatically means favoritism towards your own child. While this may sometimes hold true, I strive to remain impartial. However, the reality is that there are immense expectations placed on both the leader and their child. The demands include arriving early, staying late, cleaning up, transporting supplies, and sitting through lengthy adult discussions that often stretch our bedtime routines. Sure, there are occasional treats, but they come alongside months of boxes of cookies that need to be moved back and forth. Being the child of a leader can be a challenging experience.

Leading Your Daughter Scout

My journey with my son in Boy Scouts was relatively smooth; we faced challenges, talked them through, and adjusted our expectations. In stark contrast, my experience with my daughter in Girl Scouts was fraught with difficulties. While she adored attending meetings, sharing and cooperating proved to be monumental challenges. She often wanted to cling to me, and there were moments of intense negotiation over crayons that still make me smile: “No, I will trade you the blue crayon for the yellow one because all the crayons belong to me!”
I tried various approaches, including granting her extra attention before meetings and suggesting that parents call me after 9 PM to discuss concerns, aiming to preserve our evening routines. However, nothing seemed to work.
The Breaking Point

After one particularly chaotic meeting, emotions erupted, leading to an intense confrontation. In a moment of frustration, I declared, “Scouting isn’t mandatory; it’s a privilege! If your attitude doesn’t change, you’ll have to stay at home next week!” In her five-year-old wisdom, she retorted, “You can’t leave me home! You’re the leader!” to which I responded, “You’re right! I promised to be there, but you can stay with Dad!” It was a tough ride home, filled with silence.
That week prompted serious discussions between us about the rules necessary for her to continue in scouting, as well as the emotions driving her reactions. Here are some strategies that have truly helped us navigate this journey together:

Tips for Leading Your Daughter in Scouting (or How to Cope When Your Mom is Your Scout Leader)

Be Clear – Even though you think it might be obvious, be clear that your daughter will always be your all-time favorite Girl Scout. But just like her teacher at school, a Scout Leader has to be there for every scout left in her care.
Fair Sticks – My scout felt like I never picked her first. I felt like I was being judged on my fairness every time I did. Simple popsicle sticks with the girl’s names I could draw from took all that guilt and resentment away. Whose turn is it? Let’s see!
Label troop supplies – Guess what? Everything stored at our house is not yours. They are sometimes sharing with you.
Create some mystery – I know it is fun to share but keep a few secrets from your scout. It removes the temptation for her not to ruin a lesson and creates a little excitement if she does not know every detail.

Empowering Others

Kaper Chart – Share those extra responsibilities. Ask parents to help make sure these things happen. It gives scouts responsibility and takes tasks off your plate, maybe even getting you home earlier. There is a load to do at the end of a meeting like
- Check Bathrooms are clean
- Turn off all the lights
- Push in Chairs
- Check Thermostat
Co-Leader – I asked another mom for help. We decided we would respond to each other’s scout call for help first if we could. Can I help since mom is busy? My jealous scout and her shy scout each found another someone to depend on. Oh and if you don’t have a Co-leader, growing one quick. Most parents sitting around are bored and willing to help but don’t want to step on your toes. Ask them to help so much they go from waiting for direction to knowing what you need before you do.
Step Over when you can – One of the best things about Girl Scouting is getting some independence and learning leadership skills. Not so easy with mom around. A few summers ago I decided to make a change when it came to summer camp. Instead of leading my troop to activities as I did in the past, I volunteered to be on staff. Three years later, I am a happy canoe instructor named Godzilla of all things. I see my scout during canoe time, flags, skits, meals but stopped bunking with her unit this summer. Sometimes we sit together. Sometimes we wave. Sometimes she runs away laughing. Sometimes she sneaks over for a quiet hug.

As time goes on we are still working out strategies to keep us in our scouting rhythm. We hope this article will help you and your daughter make lots of great memories as you learn to scout together too. Good Luck and Happy Scouting!

Paula Riggins was a Girl Scout herself, way back when every Brownie still wore beanies!

She graduated from Sullivan University with a bachelor’s degree in Business and is a Programmer Analyst for a Fortune 500 company.

Paula is a working mom of two kids. If you ask she will tell you working with kids is where her heart is. Over the last two decades she worked with kids in many capacities through work, church and her community.

Paula is a Lifetime Girl Scout and hopes to have the opportunity to lead girls for many more years to come.