Leader wants to know:
Any leaders here successfully having dealt with ‘CLIQUES” in Girl Scout meetings? We are a troop of 14 and working hard to teach the girls that every girl in the troop is a friend. Trying to think of some fun activities to help strengthen this. We try pairing up the girls in diff pairs or even small groups and we get a lot of push back, tears and “but I want {insert besties name} as my partner.” And so it exaggerates the issue of certain girls feeling ‘unwanted’.
Here are some ideas from other leaders:
From Shannon
I’m in the process of breaking up our cliques in Girl Scouts. We had a group of 5. Absorbed another group of 5 from a disbanding troop, then took in 2 brand new scouts and 3 BFF 3rd graders (when everyone else is 2nd grade). I’m doing things like assigned seats, assigned partner work, lots of ice breakers and games. I’d had a more established troop I would do things like a complement pass (each girl has a paper with their name on it and the girls pass it around writing a complement, strength or happy memory they share with the girl who’s paper it is). I’d also have a blunt discussion about friendships and sisterhood highlighting how cliques feel from the outside.
From Stephanie
I make seat assignments, car assignments, tent assignments. I change them every 2 months-ish. I make sure those that absolutely do not get along don’t have to be with each other, but I also make sure that those I think would be great friends get a chance to know others.
From Brandy
We have little cliques forming this year after the troop doubling. 🤦🏼♀️ mainly because they know each other from school and always choose that person(s). We had to start switching them up. We will count into groups, 1…2…3, etc. and the friends are by each other so split up. Or random things we can thing of born in even/odd month, drawing sticks, etc. Anything we can do to mix them up at times. Overall they do ok regardless. But there’s 1 group who gets rowdy with their group, so we have had to split them up a lot.
From Rachel
We have a troop of 11 and try to split them up as best we can as we cover 2 elementary schools but:
Girl 1 2 and 3 are my own daughters (triplets)
They play with girl 4. Girl 4 and 5 are in the same class at school. Girl 6 and 7 are friends from birth. Girl 7 and 8 are in the same class at school. Girls 8 and 9 have been friends since they were 2. And girls 10 and 11 have known each other since prek. We have a lot of “previous” relationships outside of scouts that makes it hard. We had a rule our 1st year you couldn’t sit with your sister or a friend from your class to encourage new friends
From Nicole
I disagree if you are saying every girl is a good friend. It’s natural for people to group up based on similar interests etc. what you need to teach is how to be kind and work with people even if they are NOT your good friend.
From Jennifer
I have a senior/ambassador troop and a junior troop. Been at this a long time and you can’t stop peopleFrom gravitating. I tell my kids everyone deserves a hello and smile – doesn’t mean you need to have them over for dinner
From Jillian
My goal is for the girls to treat each other kindly. They all attend school together and Girl Scouts together. They’re still young. This idea that some of the troop are “my friends” and leaving others behind isn’t acceptable.
From Laura
Very normal at this age, are they still being kind to each other? Do they leave girls out? Or just naturally gravitating Very normal at this age, are they still being kind to each other? Do they leave girls out? Or just naturally gravitating towards girls they have more in common with? I ask because If it’s the first, I would have a very open conversation with the girls about the things that we discussed more often as daisies, and some side conversations with the clique leaders. If it’s more the latter, which we have, I try to let them do some things together and then make sure to break them up for other things. If they whine or seem disappointed, I pull them aside to talk about being a sister to all. Not sure if this helps.
From Sheri
I have a jar full of popsicle sticks. The sticks have numbers on them. When we need to choose partners/groups, the stick does the splitting up of the clique, not me. I have one set of besties who definitely do not like to be split up. One is more of the leader and the other follows. Letting them stay together for some activities is good but also splitting up gives the follower a chance to shine.
From Katie
We don’t always split them up. I think its all about balance. Given the choice they would always pick their bff so they do deserve that time too ❤️ I have found that its helped grow the girls circle of friends. A friend of my friend is my friend too kinda thing 😊
From Nicole
You know what just happened with my troop… we did a food drive where I needed to rotate 4 girls per hour. Due to scheduling conflicts, the girls who attended each hour were not the ones that were close. When they arrived, they ended up having an amazing time. They were from different schools too. Maybe see if you can break them up into small groups for your next meeting.
From Shellii
Have you thought about patrol groups? Break up the girls into assigned patrols, set a theme and let them choose a patrol name. We did this with our 2nd year Daisy troop and it also helps with maintaining behavior as well and getting the girls to remain on-tasks
From Jennifer
We always separate our besties if we do groups, but honestly- the most effective things to work through this naturally have been when we’ve done outings. The girls getting to experience something for the first time or challenging themselves or working together to do something great—- those are when we actually break through the cliques & create new/stronger bonds with the scouts who didn’t normally pair up.
From Melissa
This started happening when the girls started bridging to cadettes. Especially when we started to get new girls. So we started having a bunch of fun team building activities to start the meeting. That helped immensely. The ‘clique’ girls are still really tight but nobody is left excluded anymore.
From Kimberly
I put them near girls that aren’t in their circle . I split them up whenever possible I get they gravitate towards each other but I keep my eye out for it. Our first meeting of the year was about making friends and it was perfect for new girls. But I make sure the ones I know our friends get put near new friends
From Sarah
I mean I would question – are there girls being left out? Are the cliques in Girl Scouts competitive and mean to each other? One of the greatest things about Girl Scouts is how deep the friendships can be. I wouldn’t discourage that unless there is bullying etc going on. If someone is continuously left out, then I am strategic about trying to help that girl find her “home” in the group – like experimenting with carpool assignments and projects/partnerships and small group things etc where she might have a chance to get closer to a person or an existing clique that she might fit in well with, or at the very least so she can be with a girl who will be good to her and make her feel good. I never really had an issue with bullying but I have had some girls who are just more shy and reserved and so they tend to sit on the sidelines and giving them the opportunity to be in a carpool car with one or two other girls who are particularly good at including shy girls OR putting two of the shyer girls together was always very successful. Trying to break up cliques, if they’re not hurting anything, is pointlessly controlling in my opinion and will overall hurt your retention. Embrace and encourage girls to be close to each other. If they’re kept away from their closest friends at GS activities, they’ll just quit. Plus the beauty of those friendships growing and deepening through Girl Scouts can be a lifelong benefit. … as long as other girls aren’t directly hurt by it, for sure.
From Allicia
I tell my girls while they are scouts they will be kind to one another and help each other out. I don’t deal with them being mean to each other and they will work with someone they normally don’t work with because in the real world when u get a job you have to learn to work with people your not always friends with. I don’t care what they do outside of Gs time . They don’t have to be friends outside of Gs.
From Nikki
In our Girl Scout Troop, we have 2 options:
We can be FRIENDS
That means:
We hang out together
We help each other
We joke with each other
We stick up for each other
We like each other
We trust each other
We don’t gossip about each other
OR:
We can be TROOPMATES, but not friends
That means:
We respect each other
We are polite to each other
We do not ignore each other
We do not talk about each other
We are not mean to each other
We do not make faces at each other
We don’t stop the other person from making/ having friends
We do not try to hurt the other person (physically, verbally or online)
This is NOT an option:
Being Enemies, if you act like this, there will be consequences.
Being an enemy means:
You try to hurt the other person (physically or verbally)
You make fun of the other person
You stop the other person from making/ having friends
You try to get them in trouble for something they did not do.
You push and shove
You ignore them intentionally and to be mean
You make unwarranted comments to them that are negative/hurtful.
You intimidate them with body language or posture (eye rolling, glaring, etc.)
We agree to be troopmates or friends.
